


Well, excuse me, princess

by hypatheticallyspeaking



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Post-Defeat of Zarkon, Unbeta'd, she/her pronouns for pidge, slowburn(ish), strange alien customs, they swear a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 16:46:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7809667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypatheticallyspeaking/pseuds/hypatheticallyspeaking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before was supposed to be a party to celebrate Zarkon's defeat. Pidge wasn't supposed to be kidnapped and engaged, and she definitely didn't expect this outcome.<br/>Somehow, she's pretending to date Keith (of all people) while attempting to escape a marriage to an alien prince. She's the green paladin, for goodness' sake; how did this even happen?</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>AKA the fake dating Keith x Pidge fic that no one ever needed</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well, excuse me, princess

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! So, there aren't a lot of Keidge (Kidge? Peith?) fics out there, and I'm totally in love with these two spacedorks, so I figured a fic was in order.

The Altean spaceship-castle rests in a bed of yellow reeds that blankets the area around planet’s capital city. All of the lions remain docked in their bays, and the castle itself is running on as little energy as possible. Instead, the bright lights and hubbub come from a castle floating atop azure waters. The party is in full-swing as the planet’s three moons trace across the sky.

It is a celebration for Voltron, a thank-you to the paladins who defeated Zarkon a year earlier and freed the remaining planets from his grasp. It had been a heart-wrenching battle, long-fought and barely won. But Voltron did what the subjugated races had once deemed impossible: freed them from the iron grip of a ruler corrupt with power. And so, the Pelagi, the water-dwelling people of Nectonaus, invited the defenders of the universe for a celebration.

Inside the castle, the paladins and their few guests mingle with the indigenous inhabitants, learning about their aquatic planet.

“Katie, are you sure this is normal?” Matt Holt stares at the crystalline ceiling in open-mouthed wonder. “You’re being treated like a celebrity.”

“Yeah, Matt. This is normal.” The green paladin smiles at her brother. “I’m just glad you’re able to be here.” Their family’s battle had been equally as taxing, with Zarkon using Matt and their father as bait for nearly two years. But that had been nearly three years ago, and both of Pidge’s family members were kept away from the final battle per her request.

“He wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Shiro cuts into their conversation, slinging an arm around Matt’s shoulders.

Her brother laughs, and the sound brightens up the night. “Or maybe it was just an excuse to sneak out from home like when I was younger.”

Pidge snorts. “Yeah, you were _such_ a rebellious teenager.”

Her brother pulls a face that she’s sure no self-respecting twenty-seven-year-old would ever use. “Aw, c’mon, you couldn’t let me joke just _once_?”

“What else are siblings for?” she points out, waving her hand. “I’ll leave you two alone for a little bit. Time to go bother the others.”

She skirts about the room with surprising ease, despite the overly-frilly dress that Allura was sure would make her look ‘positively stunning’. She can barely see her fellow paladins over the large natives; even though the last five years had been kind to her, she is still the shortest of them. It doesn’t help that even the smallest of the humanoid Pelagi adults are a good half-foot taller than her petite height. She nearly bumps into the princess, no more than a child, and apologizes profusely. Pidge scans the nearby crowd for her friends, but to no avail.

“What are you apologizing for? You are a strong being.” The princess’ voice is similar to that of a bubbling brook, and Pidge finds it soothing. “You would make a great addition to the Pelagi.”

“Uh, thanks? I mean, I’m more of a tech person. I don’t think I’d be that great around here. Computers and water don’t really mix that well. No offense—I just…” She watches the princess’ expression, which is a mix of awe and confusion. “Thank you for your compliment,” she ends lamely. Better than to regret her babbling latter, anyway. “Your scales are pretty,” Pidge adds as an afterthought, noting the bright orange scales that frame the princess’ face along the browbone, cheeks, and nose like warrior paint.

The princess nods with a small grin that reveals shark-like teeth before darting off and leaving Pidge to search for the other paladins once more.

She finds the other three gathered together, with Lance and Hunk re-enacting the final moments before Zarkon’s defeat. Really, Lance and Hunk haven’t changed much since their Garrison days. She allows herself a small nostalgic smile as she runs her fingers through now-shoulder-length hair. Lance flops to the floor, mimicking Haggar’s defeat at Shiro’s hand, and Pidge snorts in amusement.

“Perfect!” Lance calls from his position of fake death on the floor. “Pidge, we need a Zarkon and a Lotor. Get Keith to be Zarkon! He’s been refusing to join in!”

Keith grumbles something under his breath, and Pidge can’t catch it. But she’d bet that he thinks it’s stupid or something. All the more reason to get the red paladin in on the impromptu performance.

“I dunno,” she teases, “Lance, why aren’t you going to be Zarkon. You’ve got the acting skills, after all.”

Keith raises an eyebrow, and Pidge grins.

“I mean, _clearly_ Keith can’t handle being Zarkon in this story.” She can see his competitive side fighting with his usual dislike of personal interactions, and she knows she’s won.

“Who do you think you’re talking about?”

Yep, she won.

The night continues in a similar manner, full of shenanigans and laughter. But as the night wears on, Pidge grows tired, an after-effect of still staying up late and tinkering with computers the night before. So, as the others continue bonding with the colorful Pelagi people, Pidge searches the crowd for her brother. She finds him, a wallflower, watching the festivities through an objective lens.

“Hey,” she greets, leaning against the wall as well.

“How do you guys do it?” He’s staring at her in awe, the way she stared at him when he said he’d be joining their dad on the Kerberos mission.

“Do what?”

“Thrive in an alien environment where you don’t actually know what’s going on. Katie, they’re humanoid, sure, but how do you know they have good intentions? How do you know that the food isn’t drugged? How do you… just… How can you keep going into these places with such an open mind?”

She can’t help but smile at that. Each of the paladins reached that point throughout their journey, and it was difficult to remain positive. “Matt, if we don’t look at the positives, how can we possibly be the defenders of the universe? Besides, I’m sure we’re all running a million and one scenarios of what could possibly go wrong. But it’s nice to live in the moment rather than on the run from Zarkon.”

He smiles at that, and turns to face her. “Is everything okay? You seem...”

“Tired, that’s all.” She gives her brother a quick hug. “I think I’m going to call it a night, so could you let the others know? Heavens forbid any of them think I’m in danger.” Last time she was the target of an enemy’s attack, the other paladins were faster and more relentless in their attacks than she’d ever seen.

He wraps his arms around her again and presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Night. I’ll check on you when we get in.”

“I’m not thirteen anymore, Matt,” she points out as he moves to go speak with the other earthlings.

He turns around, saying, “Being nineteen doesn’t change that fact that you’re my little sis.”

“Fair enough. See you in the morning.”

She waves goodbye to Allura and Coran, who have since shifted to the size of the Pelagi and can easily see her, before sneaking out of the front gates. She takes one of the boats that they were given earlier that day, and begins her return to the ship. Stifling a yawn, Pidge smiles. It’s been a good day.

The current is taking her to where she needs to be, so she doesn’t even bother to use the oars. Slowly, the boat begins to slow, and she stares at the moving current and floating foliage in confusion. The boat tilts, and she turns around to see a figure emerge from the water. All of a sudden there’s a cloth over her face and it smells sweet, unlike anything she’s come across before.

“What the hell are you—”

Her consciousness fades before she can finish her sentence.

*

The paladins return to the ship once Allura declares that they have another destination the following morning. They’re all tired, but a contented tired. The boats and water nearly lull them to sleep before they reach the ship. The two Alteans lean on each other as they extricate themselves from rocking boats, Shiro carries a now-sleeping Matt over his shoulders, and Hunk drags Lance—who had a little too much of the natives’ equivalent of alcohol.

They crash in one of the lounges in an awkward heap, arms and legs splayed everywhere, ties and jackets tossed over the backs of couches. Keith remains in a state where he’s tired but can’t quite get his mind to rest; something feels off, feels ominous. But everyone’s back in the ship, they can all reach their lions. So why does he have this gut feeling that something’s wrong?

It’s nearly dawn when the majority of them are up and functioning again, and Allura’s at the helm, finishing up the wormhole jump. A single alarm blares through the castle, and the red paladin is in the control room as fast as he can.

“Shiro! Allura!” Matt’s voice rings through the castle corridors as he panics.

“Yes, Matt?” Allura’s calm demeanor balances out the older Holt’s stress, but not by much. “What’s wrong?”

“Katie never made it back last night, did she?”

“I don’t-” Allura frowns and opens up the records from the ship’s systems. She reads through them and her eyes widen. It would be comical, Keith thinks, if it weren’t for the fact that they are now an eighth of the way through the galaxy. “No, Pidge didn’t. I thought you said that she went back early.”

He frowns, eyebrow knitting together. He should have listened to that gut feeling. After all, the red paladin is supposed to rely on instinct.

“She did, she did. I saw her leave but… Katie wouldn’t just vanish out of nowhere. Not even as a prank.”

Shiro rests a hand on Matt’s shoulder in an attempt to calm down the now-distressed brother. “Allura, how fast can we get back there?”

“It’ll take at least another few days to get us back up for a jump.” The Altean princess frowns in disappointment as another notification crosses the screen. “Somehow the engines got fried. I need Hunk and Coran on that now.”

Keith can see the guilt appearing on Matt’s face; it’s the same exact expression when Pidge blames herself. “I’ll go.”

“Even the Red Lion won’t be able to make it that far through the galaxy quickly. It would take you at least a day to reach the planet.”

He frowns in concentration. “A jump for one of the lions isn’t as tough as for the whole ship, right? You were able to do it when we first got the lions.” A pause. “The current damage is worse than that, isn’t it?”

Allura purses her lips. “Get changed and get to your lion. I’ll have it up in ten minutes.”

He nods and starts heading out, but he pauses and turns to face Matt before anything else. “She’s fine, don’t blame yourself.”

“Thanks,” Matt replies, but everyone in the room knows that none of them will calm down until the green paladin is confirmed to be safe.

It takes fifteen minutes until the portal’s open and he’s able to see the blue planet in the distance. Allura’s face pops up on the dashboard screen, concern apparent on her face. “Are you there yet? Do you see any signs of-”

Keith cuts off Allura’s worried ramblings.  “I’ll contact you as soon as I get some information.”

She sighs in response before adding that he shouldn’t show up in his armor, that it would be a sign of belligerence in the eyes of the Pelagi. After all they’ve done to return the universe to a state of peace, none of the paladins would dare jeopardize that.

“How long can you keep the wormhole open with the ongoing repairs?”

“It’ll close as soon as you leave, but you’ll still be able to contact me from your lion.”

“I’ll tell you as soon as I find Pidge.”

As Red lands on its own, he moves to get ready. He tugs on his old jacket, and it surprisingly still fits, despite him not having worn it for nearly two years. It’s an odd sense of familiarity, especially when he straps his knife to his belt. Red’s mouth opens with the hiss of pistons, and Keith steps out directly to the floating castle’s front gate. The pumice-stone building looks bleak underneath the full light of the planet’s blue sun, and Keith walks forward, shielding his eyes from the sun’s rays. He forces his hand from instinctively reaching for the blade that’s holstered to his belt.

He’s greeted by a Pelagi soldier whose gray and scaly skin reminds him of the others from the previous night; although the fact that the soldier carries a spear is somewhat surprising. “Why have you returned, red paladin?” the soldier croaks out, webbed hand curling tighter around the spear.

“Pidge. She wasn’t where she said she’d be last night.”

Something in that statement must have resounded with the guard, because the emotionless expression wavered, transforming into a frown. “You are permitted an audience with the King,” the warrior says before stepping aside from the main gate.

As Keith enters the palace, he recognizes the halls from the celebration. However, it is as though the last night’s festivities never occurred; the ornamental decorations are sparse, rather than hanging from every outcropping on the uneven walls, and the only pieces of furniture are the thrones belonging to the King and late Queen. The king, the tallest of the Pelagi, sits imposingly on the jeweled chair, and he is still nearly seven feet in height while seated. However, the king’s confused yet bemused expression does not match his commanding size. Standing on his right is another soldier, the prince, and the turquoise-skinned Pelagi has a seemingly permanent grimace as his sole expression.

The king’s bluish-gray face lightens as he realizes just who has appeared in the hall. “Red paladin, it is wonderful to have you in our presence again.”

“Thank you, your highness. Not to be rude, but may I ask a question about last night?”

“Certainly, red paladin. What do you wa-”

The king’s response is cut short by someone he knows well. “Keith! Where are the others?” There’s an unasked question as well: Where is Matt?

Keith follows the sound of Pidge’s voice, eyes trailing up the wall to his left. It takes him a second to spot her, protected by two large guards. She’s visible between them, but their spears are crossed as a deterrent from her moving. Her vibrant dress from the previous evening has been exchanged for traditional clothes: a loose-fitting crop-top and long flowing skirt. The practically sheer fabric makes her look as though she could be toppled by the slightest breeze. They make eye contact, and she’s pleading with him.

“They’ll be here as soon as the engine’s fixed.”

Her eyes brighten until one of the guards leans down and whispers something to her. Pidge glares at the guard with a look that reminds him of how he used to look at the Galran lieutenants.

The king lets out a hearty laugh that sounds more like a whalesong than a chuckle. “If your ship is incapacitated you may stay here as well, red paladin.”

As well? A small frown crosses Keith’s face. “Pidge and I need to be going.” He doesn’t take his eyes off of the now-furious green paladin. Her eyes dart between him, the prince, and the king; he _knows_ that look. Keith opens his right hand towards the ceiling before flipping his palm towards the floor.

Just stay calm.

Apparently Pidge either doesn’t see his hand signal or chooses to blatantly ignore it, because she takes advantage of the guards’ split-second of surprise at Keith’s statement. She ducks through the bottom portion of the crossed spears before jumping out towards one of the walls. She latches onto a lower outcropping, her bare feet scrambling for purchase. She pauses a second before taking a backwards somersault to land on the hall’s floor. The sound of her bare feet pounding of the floor echoes as she darts forward towards him.

Her feet tangle in her long skirt a few feet from him, and he instinctively darts forward, catching her arms before she falls. Her entire body is shaking, despite her façade of cocky arrogance, and he doesn’t let go as Pidge steadies herself. She lifts her eyes to meet his, and it’s only because of the of their close proximity that he finally recognizes the panic on her face. Dark circles are visible under her eyes, and her skin is pale.

“I’m so, so sorry for this,” she whispers before taking a deep breath.

Keith blinks in confusion. It isn’t her fault; if anything, he’s more at fault because nobody checked up on her. “Sorry for wh-”

His question is cut off by Pidge pressing up on her tiptoes and kissing him with a surprising amount of grace. It takes him a second to realize what’s going on, and by that time, she’s stepped back. Her blush is visible to the point where Lance would certainly ask if she spent too long under Red’s lights.

When he finally finds his voice again, all he can manage to do is croak out, “What the _hell_ , Pidge?”

“Just… trust me, okay?” Her brown eyes flit to her peripherals, and her hand moves to where her bayard normally would be. “I’m so sorry,” she repeats, never bringing her voice above a whisper. “I just… I thought that they won’t force me to marry prince jerkwad,” she casts a surprisingly venomous look over her shoulder, “if my _boyfriend_ were to show up. From what Princess Littorea said, a previous relationship is my best chance of avoiding a marriage to her brother.”

He’s always prided himself on making connections, but Pidge talking about marriage and _him as her boyfriend_ fly over his head. Keith’s face goes through a variety of mild expression before ending on a mix of exasperation and anger. Somehow, he’s able to keep himself from shouting. “And you didn’t think that someone else—oh, I don’t know, LANCE—would be a better choice for this?”

Pidge glares at him, hands curling into fists at her sides as her lips press together in a thin line. “Well, _he’s_ not the one who showed up. I improvised with what I’ve got, okay?” She rolls her eyes before adding a final dig at him, “You should appreciate it! Follow your instincts and all of that bullcrap.”

“What is the meaning of this?” The greyish green Pelagi at the King’s side growls, stopping their argument in its tracks. “Father, I demand that my-”

Pidge finally raises her voice to a volume audible to the others as she cuts the Prince off. “I am not an object. And I frankly don’t give a damn if you think that by kidnapping me I’m somehow yours to be molded into a bride. The only person who I belong to is myself, and my loyalties only ever go to people I put my own faith in. And besides…” She glances over to Keith and holds out her hand to him. She raises an eyebrow in question, giving him an out if he’d rather find a different solution.

He nods before slipping his hand into hers.

They can totally sell this for a few minutes, at least until they’re allowed to return to Red and then start the journey back to the others.

“Besides,” Pidge continues, giving his hand a thankful squeeze, “I already have a boyfriend.”

The prince, who had previously not moved from his spot beside the king, takes a step forward. The intense look of hatred in his eyes makes Keith swallow uncertainly. “Yes, your male friend is present. That does not explain such blatant displays of affection for someone who is not your betrothed. Especially since you are now betrothed to me.”

Keith can’t help but whisper the word under his breath. What fresh hell had they gotten themselves into?

Her grip on his hand tightens as she says, “It is not a betrothal if I didn’t _know_ it was one. And besides, I wouldn’t fit in well with your culture, as I have already explained to you. Oh, and for what’s almost the hundredth time… I. Do. Not. Accept.” Her eyes are glazed over and her voice is tired, as though she has memorized those sentences multiple times.

“The fact remains that your actions are unacceptable for my betrothed.”

Keith, annoyed by the prince’s holier-than-thou attitude and blatant disrespect for someone who saved the _universe_ from complete subjugation, decides to take a turn speaking. “Your culture doesn’t have a translatable word for boyfriend?”

“Boy and friend, correct? Indicating my betrothed’s,” Pidge flinched at his use of the word, “close acquaintance.”

The red paladin scowls in annoyance. “No. What’s another equivalent?” He glances at the young woman holding onto his hand like a lifeline. “Significant other?”

The prince shakes his head in confusion.

Keith hesitates, trying to think of another word. “Lover?” The urge to turn and just run with Pidge is getting stronger by the second.

“Like family, yes?”

“No. Intended?” This prince is aggravating, to say the least, and Keith nearly moves his free hand to unsheathe his knife.

“So I have a contender who wishes to fight me for my soon-to-be bride, you are saying?”

“No,” Pidge responds through gritted teeth, her fingernails nearly cutting crescents into the palm of Keith’s hand.

“So I am not contended?” The prince inquires in confusion.

That’s it, he’s had enough.

“No! You interrupted an already progressing courtship!” Keith exclaims in annoyance, barely refraining from cursing out the stubborn Pelagi. “Pidge chose, of her own free will, a relationship. Our home culture does not approve of kidnapping for the sole purpose of marriage proposal. We aren’t reverting to those days, and I sure won’t enable it! Pidge is the green paladin and has every single right as an independent being to refuse your customs because she is _not_ a puppet in a game!”

The grip on his hand grows lighter, and she rubs her thumb against the back of his hand. Okay, maybe he went overboard as a jealous boyfriend, but none of it was a lie. Not really.

“Father?” A younger voice chimes into the conversation, drawing the attention of the room’s visitors and inhabitants. It’s the Princess that Pidge had been talking about. “I believe that the happiness of two people who have saved our planet and universe is much more important than my brother’s infatuation.”

The prince snarls at his younger sibling, baring fang-length shark teeth. “You know nothing. What do you know of my current position?” He turns to face the king, “I demand that my betrothed marry me by the end of the Moons’ cycle.”

The look in the princess’ eyes betrays her wisdom, although her understanding does not faze her brother’s ignorance. Even the king admits aloud that he cannot betray centuries of tradition, despite the fact that a marriage would be uncouth. Instead, the king suggests a face-off of strength between the two men in the castle’s battle arena.

“Pidge is not a prize!” Keith snaps, annoyed with the objectification of someone he’s come to call a close friend. He can hear Allura’s voice in the back of his mind, encouraging him to be tactful, to respect the wishes of the king and hold some semblance of diplomacy. He’s still debating running and leaving with his teammate this very moment.

Pidge sighs. “In the hope of not offending your people, when would this fight take place?”

“The last day of the Moons’ cycle,” the king declares; they have a week.

“Keith?”

“For the sake of diplomacy,” he responds, despite every single instinct is telling him to get out of there as soon as possible.

*

They’re escorted to neighboring rooms in the castle, and it’s only once the guards leave that anything truthful can be said. Keith inclines his head towards his room, a motion for Pidge to join him. Over the years, their nonverbal communication has become second to only Allura and the mice, and it’s possibly the most helpful thing in the universe. Pidge takes a seat on the edge of his bed while he leans against the uneven wall. It takes a few seconds for them to collect their thoughts, and the silence is a moment of solace.

“This is _such_ a bad plan,” Pidge declares, breaking the silence in a voice that’s practically a whine. “Why didn’t you stop me?”

“Because it was either agree to this, which didn’t seem like a bad idea, or kidnap you again as if you’re a trophy.” Seeing her scowl, Keith adds, “I didn’t think you’d like that. I was right. Besides, a single fight isn’t a bad alternative.”

“I meant…” She waves her hand between the two of them frantically. “Whatever this is. I’m a terrible actor! I shouldn’t have kissed you either, I’m sorry.”

His face flushes red, and he’s thankful that Pidge has lowered her own in embarrassment as well. “You convinced everyone at the Garrison that you were an entirely different person,” he points out, not mentioning that the guards there were really stupid anyway. “And you don’t have to kiss me again or anything—that point has been made.”

“But are _you_ okay with this?”

“Trust me,” Keith replies, “It won’t be that difficult. Especially if the prince is an asshole.”

“Yeah, he really is,” she says with a broken laugh, and Keith is seriously tempted to give her a hug. A silence falls over them once more, and Pidge shivers. “I miss my regular clothes,” she comments drily. “Clearly they don’t understand that other people can feel the cold.”

Keith tugs off his jacket and tosses it to her. “Go on, take it. I don’t know if you’ll be able to get normal clothes any time soon. I might have some in one of Red’s storage units.”

“Thanks.” A look of confusion appears on her face. “Why can’t Allura just open another portal and send Green though?”

The princess had explained it in detail earlier, but his brain’s cluttered with contingency plans if anything goes wrong. “Something about how opening another wormhole would drain the ship’s already-limited power. Which is why we’re stuck here.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah.” He grimaces; he still hasn’t told the others that Pidge is safe. “Crap, they’re probably thinking the worst. I should’ve called them immediately.”

“Matt’s probably going insane right about now. I should have fought Shiro harder on letting Matt join us for this trip,” Pidge muses. “They’re still in range to get a video feed going from your lion?”

Keith nods, and Pidge marches out the door determinedly. “Where are you going?”

“What are you waiting for?”

He follows her, catching up to her fast pace in a few strides. A handful of guards block the entranceway of the wing. A wave of pity surges forth when he sees the guards’ confusion. They’ve never seen a paladin on a mission, clearly. Pidge rolls the sleeves of his jacket up her forearms, her hands balled into fists. The guards shift slightly, webbed fingers tightening against the spears.

“I’m calling my brother, whether you let me through peacefully or I have to make my own path.” He doesn’t even have to look at her to know the face she’s making: eyebrows raised and mouth slanted in a determined line. She cracks her knuckles menacingly. Well, as menacing as a petite, five-foot four tall girl can be.

Really, Keith shouldn’t be amused at her belligerence, but he knows better than to try and calm her down. There’s nothing in the universe that can separate her from her family, including entire empires. So he doesn’t even attempt to hide the grin that appears on his face as he casually slips his hands into his pockets.

She’s got this.

After some deliberation—and intimidation—the guards step aside. She navigates the halls with a surprising amount of ease, another indicator that Pidge had been planning her escape even before he arrived. The castle halls are reminiscent of the passageways in the Balmera; they’re sloped, twisting, and without any windows. Ten minutes of walking, and they’ve arrived at the palace’s main doors.

Red senses their arrival, and opens its maw to let them into the cockpit. The door closes behind them as the engines start and lights flicker. There are shouts from the outside, the guards surrounding them with brandished spears.

He makes eye contact with Pidge.

Running would be _so_ easy.

*

Being inside one of the lions allows her to breathe easier. She doesn’t mind that Allura insists on diplomacy first. Keep Altean culture alive and all that. But even Pidge admits that being diplomatic takes its toll on the paladins, herself included.

Hell, if the past twenty-or-so hours weren’t proof of that, she’s not sure of what is.

She’s immensely grateful for Keith’s appearance; if the prince had called her ‘betrothed’ one more time… She’s not sure what she would have done, but she _knows_ it wouldn’t have ended well for anyone in her presence. Honestly, all she wants to do is wrap her arms around Keith in a forceful hug, but she’s not going to cross that line. Too many personal boundaries have been crossed by her in the past hour.

“Can you get the ship on the screen?” she asks, her exhaustion seeping into her voice.

“Sure. If you want to rummage around for clothes, I don’t mind.”

Okay, that right there is pity, and she knows it. Keith hates when people touch his stuff, almost as much as when people—read: Hunk—mess with her technological projects. But, she doesn’t have the energy to fight him about it, not when she’s been running on adrenaline since she woke up.

Among Keith’s assortment of blankets, sweatshirts, fingerless gloves, and other random garments, Pidge finds a worn black tee that should fit her, as well as a worn pair of brown cargo shorts. They’re not a perfect fit; the tee is at least a size too big and hangs loosely on her frame, and the pants will be a little snug since she has some curves and it’s _definitely_ a guy’s cut. Deeming them the best option she’s got, she holds them up, tacitly inquiring if he’s fine with her taking them. He shrugs: whatever she needs.

She does her best to put the storage bins back to the way they were, but she’s bound to have messed something up. An apology forms on her lips, but the screen flickers to life before she can say anything.

“Keith, thank goodness!” Allura’s stressed, that much is clear. Her face is covered in dark smudges, and her hair is tinged gray with what appears to be either soot or grease. “Please tell me you’ve found Pidge.”

“Present and accounted for,” she replies with a mock salute, although she’s not even visible on-screen. “How are things going on your end?” She makes her way to the pilot’s chair.

“Everyone’s doing their best,” Allura replies, trying to keep everything in a positive light. There’s the sound of a small explosion in the background, and everything is obscured by smoke for a few seconds. “I told you not to go near the barrier crystals! They are the least stable objects on this ship right now! And someone grab Matt!”

“Seriously, Allura,” Keith cuts in, “How bad is the ship?”

Her face falls, pointed ears drooping slightly. “We’ll be lucky if there’s enough repairs done to make a wormhole by the time we were supposed to be dropping you back on Earth.”

Pidge does her best to keep a positive outlook, but she ends up sighing. Two weeks. Can they really keep up a charade for two weeks?

Keith puts a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll manage.”

She wants to scream.

Matt appears on screen, breathing heavily. He must have been on the other side of the ship. “What _happened_?”

“I… uh…” How do you explain to your brother that you were kidnapped, unwittingly and unwillingly engaged to a jerkwad of a prince, and are now pretending to date one of your closest friends? She looks to Keith for help.

“She was kidnapped, and engaged to prince what’s-his-face the jerk.” Pidge rolls her eyes. Thanks for tact, Keith.

Her brother’s eyes open comically-wide as he exclaims, “What?” at the top of his lungs.

Allura cuts in, “Please tell me that you didn’t run away with Pidge. That’s one of their top taboos. Besides, Prince Limnes is known for being… traditional.”

Pidge shakes her head. “Nope, we did the diplomatic thing.”

Matt looks like he’s about to faint. “Please tell _me_ that you aren’t marrying an alien prince for _diplomacy’s sake_.”

Well, time to drop another bomb on her poor brother. Hopefully his heart can take it. Does Allura know CPR? She really hopes Allura knows CPR.

“The only way to escape an engagement is if you already have another claim for marriage. Stupid rule. Anyway, so apparently Keith and I have been dating.” She says it as nonchalantly as possible, and continues speaking. “Because in order for me to break away from Prince Jerkwad’s advances without me actually attacking him—and trust me I’ve thought about it— _tradition_ dictates that a fight in the arena is necessary so… Keith’s fighting the prince at the end of the week.”

“Okay. Keith, you better win. Katie isn’t an object for their stupid games.” A small smirk appears on Keith’s face, but the older scientist doesn’t notice. Seems like they’ve both got a defensive streak. Matt blinks twice before a confused look overtakes his face. “Wait a second! You two are dating?”

“ _Fake_ dating,” the red paladin amends, but it’s not enough to calm down the older Holt sibling. “So when you guys arrive you need to help us sell it so we can get home.”

There’s an awkward silence that falls between the two guys, and Pidge glances between the screen and Keith. She rolls her eyes when she realizes that it’s one of those cliché moments from a tv show back home, where the older brother acts super over-protective. She coughs, getting their attention.

“If you’re done with that, can we discuss what’s going to happen when you guys actually show up? I’d like to get out of here as soon as possible.” She’s not sure if the natives will let them contact the ship again.

It takes them fifteen minutes to come up with the best plan. It’s far from perfect, but they’re accustomed to having to improvise. Allura leaves to talk to the other paladins, and Keith moves to give Pidge some alone time with her brother.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Pidge gives him a wavering smile. “I’ll be fine. We got you and Dad out from under Zarkon’s nose. I can deal with a lovestruck prince. Besides, we’ve got Red if anything goes wrong.”

“That wasn’t what I meant,” her brother says, and his eyes move their focus to what she guesses is Keith in the background.

“It’s my plan,” she defends, “If there are problems, I should be the one to deal with them.” Matt smiles, and Pidge wants to reach through the screen and give her brother a hug.

“See you soon, Katie.”

“Love you, Matt.”

“Love you too.”

The video feed cuts out, leaving her to see a horde of angry Pelagi soldiers through the windshield. Their faces are filled with confusion, and they prod at the lion’s armor with their spears and webbed hands. Pidge sighs, backing away from the windshield.  

She extends her empty hand to Keith. “Ready to sell this?”

“I still say that Lance would have been a better choice,” Keith replies, intertwining his fingers with hers. “But yeah, let’s do this.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: either @hypatheticallyspeaking or my voltron blog @spacedorksandlions.   
> Thanks for reading!!!


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